Sharing is a good thing, right? It certainly is if you’re referring to good news, great results, wealth or happiness! But when it comes to exposing details about your personal life at your place of employment, sharing deserves careful consideration.
It’s normal and healthy to develop friendships at work, and these often involve gradually revealing details about our personal lives. However, it’s important to keep in mind that there are unique dynamics in work relationships simply because of the professional boundaries that exist alongside them.
Friendships with co-workers can be tested by shifting power structures within the organization, such as promotions, reorganizations, mergers, new hires or layoffs. These changes are inevitable and sometimes surprising.
In the best-case scenario, they can reinvigorate a team and improve the workplace. But they rarely occur without some people experiencing resentment, jealousy and bruised egos, which can result in unpredictable or negative behavior. Therefore, it’s wise to keep work relationships uncomplicated by not sharing personal information that may compromise your professional relationship in the future.
Here are some guidelines to help maintain a healthy balance between the personal and professional.
Know Your Boundaries
Everyone has a different sense of professional boundaries. We all know someone who seems comfortable revealing blush-inducing details to anyone, and others who are so private that we know little about them. Most of us fall somewhere in between. So, what constitutes going too far?
The answer partly depends on the relationship you’ve formed with your co-worker and if they’ve earned your trust as a friend. If something you say could undermine that person’s impression of you as a competent professional, or is not something you’d like others to know, you should probably keep it to yourself.
Even the kindest colleague may not be as discreet with your information as you’d expect. While there are people you can trust to keep your personal details private, very few people spread stories with malicious intent. Still, someone might inadvertently let your story slip without realizing it could harm your reputation or that you don’t want it public.
Once it’s out there, it’s out there. An easy way to determine if something you’re about to share with a friend at work should be kept private is to ask yourself, “Would I like my boss or my employee to know this about me?” If the thought makes you uncomfortable, don’t share it.
There are alternatives to divulging private details about your life to a co-worker. Talk to family, friends or a trusted advisor. You can also access your Employee or Business Assistance Program if you need someone to talk to and don’t know where to turn. These programs are staffed with trained professionals who offer compassionate support and are legally bound to keep your information private.
Keep it Off-line
Remember, whatever you post on social media might not be as hidden as you think! Many sites have changing privacy policies that give the impression your information is secure when it may still be accessible. To see what others can find out about you, search your name on an internet browser when you’re not logged into any of your accounts. Surprised at what you find? Adjust your privacy settings as needed.
Besides restricting access to your material, be selective about what you post online. A quick, reactive comment posted without thought can be easily misunderstood or taken out of context. Always remember—sharing a compromising photo of you having over-the-top fun might seem like a good idea at the time but could be viewed by a prospective client, colleague, supplier or future boss. Is that the image you’d like them to have of you?
Another strategy is to only connect with co-workers (even friends) on professional business networking sites and connect with family and non-work friends on social networking sites. There’s nothing wrong with ignoring connection requests—it’s your right. If you fear someone will feel insulted, explain that it’s your personal policy to connect with colleagues only on professional sites. Anyone who doesn’t accept this explanation should be treated with caution.
Proceed with Confidence
Discretion and privacy don’t mean you have to approach work friendships with suspicion. On the contrary, consciously maintaining a clear line between what you keep private and what you’re willing to share can make relationships simpler, easier and more fun.
Maintaining a friendly but professional presence at work always pays off.
Link copied to clipboard